It is important to understand a person's voice.
writer Natsume Shushi once asked students in class: "how should I love you be translated?"
the students answered "I love you" one after another.
Natsume Shushi shook his head. "if you love someone, tell him that the moonlight is beautiful tonight."
this sentence implies that the moon is the most beautiful only when I watch it with you.
just like most of the time, although a person cares about you very much, he will not express "I love you" directly, but will use other words instead.
therefore, it is important to understand a person's voiceover.
so I'm going to talk to you today. What three words do people who secretly love you often say to you on Wechat?
what are you doing /what are you doing
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A very warm screenshot of the conversation was brushed two days ago, which probably reads:
the comment area said with envy that this is the standard answer.
some people say that the real meaning of "what are you doing" is "I miss you".
there is a point in psychology that when you like someone, you keep having intrusive thoughts about each other.
for example, Ta's voice and smile, his every move, the details of getting along with each other, and even the imagination of the two of them in the future. When this kind of thought accumulates to a certain extent, there will be a strong feeling of yearning, and then can't help but contact each other.
however, expressing "I miss you" directly may cause pressure and trouble to the other person.
if the situation is not suitable, it will seem a little hypocritical. After all, many people are not good at expressing their feelings directly.
so, just use the word "what are you doing" instead of missing?
in fact, its complete expression should be:
doing? I miss you. Do you miss me, too?
is everything all right?
for someone who loves you, happiness is often not what he can get from the relationship, but what he can give for you.
he hopes to accompany and support you in time when you are helpless and lonely.
he will put your feelings first.
so, even if you just chat across the screen, he can detect changes in your mood in a few words.
"how are you?"-such three simple words represent his tension and sensitivity to you.
instead of running away from your negative emotions, he hopes that you can open your heart and complain to him and vent as much as you can.
American psychologist Eric once put forward a "care theory":
when one person takes care of another, a love-based link will be formed between the two people, and the relationship will be deeper than before.
only those who love you will take the initiative to deepen their emotional connection with you and want to go into your heart.
as the saying goes, "A friend in need is a friend indeed". There are many people who can be happy with you, but few people are willing to accept your sadness.
I'm here /don't worry /it's okay
I have seen such a news before:
A salesman vomited on the side of the road in order to sign the bill and drink with the customer. Seeing this, the onlookers immediately called his wife.
when his wife arrived at the scene, instead of blaming her, she held her dirty husband in her arms and comforted: "it's all right, don't worry, I'm here."
the drunken salesman couldn't help it and began to cry like a child.
the words "with me" can sometimes make a person take off his camouflage and reveal his weakness.
people who love you will give you a sense of security worth relying on, and you can show your true side under this shelter.
host Yang Lan once said this:
"in a good relationship, there is not only love, but also loyalty, tacit understanding and unforgettable kindness."
it is not difficult to say love verbally, but whether he is willing to stand with you and face it together when you are embarrassed.
people who always say "I'm here" to you have already regarded your troubles and difficulties as a common responsibility.
in the movie ex three, Meng Yun and Lin Jia clearly love each other, but no one is willing to say "I'm sorry" first, and eventually miss each other, and the five-year relationship finally becomes a pity.
many people say that this plot feels too real, because it is sometimes not easy to apologize voluntarily.
Social psychologist Elliott said: "as long as self-defense works, people will refuse to admit their mistakes and even lie to escape."
to put it simply, "it's not my fault". Why should I apologize?
after all, the word "sorry" means a lot of negative results:
for example, exposing your incompetence; taking on some unnecessary responsibilities; and making some changes to the relationship.
from this point of view, the price is indeed not small.
but don't apologize? Conflicts may escalate and relationships may break down.
there is a saying: "people who can take the initiative to apologize are often false to admit their mistakes, for fear of losing you is true."
people who love youWould rather bear some so-called price, suffer some grievances, but also willing to be the one who takes the initiative to bow.
is not to recognize, but to cherish the relationship with you.
in many cases, the more you care about a person, the more you feel that the words "I love you" will seem a little thin.
think of a plot of Titanic:
after the shipwreck, Jack gave up the only life-saving board around him to rose.
when there was no hope of survival, he decided to let go and sink into the sea forever.
before he died, Jack said the most touching words to rose in the film.
this sentence is not "I love you", but "live".
the evidence of love sometimes does not lie in "I love you" itself.
you might as well open Wechat and search it now to see who really takes you to heart.
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