When you become difficult to mess with, the world will be gentle to you.
there is an intriguing detail in Jin Ping Mei.
once, the wife of a man entertained the big servant girls in each room.
in terms of status, it was headed by the servant girl of the eldest wife Wu Yueniang, but at the table, everyone was holding Pan Jinlian's servant girl Pang Chunmei.
there is no other reason, because Pang Chunmei is not easy to mess with.
if you think about it, it's the same in real life.
weak people are often deceived, and it is easier to win the respect of others if they are not easy to mess with.
so a man would rather be as ruthless as a wolf than as soft as a sheep.
soft as sheep, can only be slaughtered
the writer Zhou Guoping told a scoundrel story in his book when you learn to be alone.
A few days later, his friend urged him to pay back the money, but he looked unhappy and said confidently, "Why do you care so much that you have come to extort debts after only a few days?"
my friend smiled awkwardly and wondered if he was too harsh, so he pressed not to mention it.
in the years that followed, the scoundrel bought a car and a house, and life went smoothly.
one day, my friend's mother was sick in hospital and was in urgent need of money, so she had no choice but to beg for it. As a result, the scoundrel shouted, "how long have you been worrying like this?"
Mr. Yang Jiang wrote this paragraph in "going to the Edge of Life":
"sometimes, if you intend to be an honest man at peace with the rest of the world, people will use you to bully you; if you are magnanimous and patient, they will infringe on you and hurt you."
this is the case with human nature. The more you give in, the more unscrupulous the other person will be.
too weak, he will only be slaughtered and pinched everywhere.
writer Bo Bonnie has always had a wish to go back to the past and change the outcome of the things she has been haunting for many years.
when she was a child, she was short, fat and clumsy.
in a PE class, a male classmate, in front of the whole class, threw a basketball on her head. Although she was very aggrieved, she chose to swallow her anger.
in PE class, the male students laughed at her running posture and asked her to pick up the ball, but from beginning to end, she did not resist, but ran to the corner after class and cried silently.
after being bullied for a long time, she began to doubt herself, so much so that she refused to take PE classes from primary school to college, and even now she is afraid of doing sports in front of others.
whenever she thinks of this past, she will ask herself if she would not have this memory of humiliation if she had returned her hand at that time.
there is a classic line in the movie Blacklist:
"Why others dare to do bad things to you is because you make people feel that they can do bad things to you without paying any price."
some hearts are doomed not to be hot, while others are doomed to be underfed. The weaker you are, the less people will take you seriously.
only by occasionally appearing wolf nature can you protect yourself
someone once asked Confucius, "what is it like to return good for evil?"
Confucius said, "how can you repay good? Return evil with directness, and repay good with good. "
others bully you, but you try to influence him with morality. He will not appreciate your benevolence and righteousness, but feel that you are afraid of him.
therefore, in the face of those who hurt us, do not blindly tolerate, occasionally appear wolf nature, show his teeth in order to protect himself.
when Wang Yangming was 13 years old, his biological mother Zheng died and his father continued to play the string.
the stepmother had a grudge against Wang Yangming, so she found fault everywhere and punished him severely for a slight mistake.
Wang Yangming is always courteous to his stepmother, but her stepmother is relentless and gets worse.
Wang Yangming, who couldn't stand it, came up with a trick.
one day I got up quietly in the middle of the night and moved the tea tray that had been left in the living room outside the door. when my stepmother saw it, she suspected that something was wrong.
the next day, he bought another crow and put it on the stepmother's bed. When the stepmother made the bed, she quickly asked the witch for divination, and the witch had already been bribed by Wang Yangming.
after hearing this, the stepmother turned blue with fear and hurriedly knelt down to apologize.
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since then, his stepmother no longer dared to be harsh on Yangming and even treated him as if he were her own.
as the saying goes, "Tiger dew, majestic snake will be good, crane if bright clawed eagle is also lame."
in this life, people should not only have the self-cultivation of Bodhisattva with low eyebrows, but also have the means of King Kong's anger.
once someone takes an inch and pushes his nose to his face, he has to think of ways to deal with it.
with tolerance and tolerance, you will find that there are fewer and fewer bad guys around you.
I would rather be a wolf than a sheep
psychologist Wu Zhihong once said:
"We are always used to talking about sacrifice, we are used to talking about patience, we are always worried that we will hurt others, and we are also afraid that we will be hurt.
but the reality is that it is not easy for adults to destroy each other.
and when others perceive that you are a difficult person, you are more likely to be respected and have a good relationship. "
Wanqing, a writer, met a very aggressive colleague when she was an intern in a company.
he is a bull poached by his boss from Wall Street, and he is straight with the world.
anyone who doesn't do a good job will immediately point it out, and his words are sharp, often making the listener look gray, even in front of the boss.
but as a result, the boss will laugh at himself and say, "the more powerful you are, the more grumpy you are. as a boss, you should have the capacity for people."
moreover, the boss is going to give him privileges.
but Daniel was ungrateful: "what you are doing is wrong. The rules should apply to everyone, and no one can make an exception."
is it possible that colleagues will hate such an inconsiderate person?
Wanqing said, "No! We all like him very much. "
once saw a very interesting survey:
which one would you prefer, a person who is kind and everything is agreed on, or a person who is angular and recalcitrant?
most people choose the latter. Why?
A netizen explained it very well:
"everyone has his own edges and corners, which are the magnetism of a person."
the communication between people is like a magnet, there will always be attraction and repulsion, and the old man has turned himself into a piece of wood without magnetism because he hides his love and hatred.
if each magnet finds a magnet of its own kind and huddles together, what's the difference between a lone piece of wood and being rejected?
the soft sheep finally become the delicacy on the table, while the fierce wolf becomes the king in the field.
only if you take yourself seriously will others take you seriously.
I like two verses of Gu Cheng very much:
"roses wear sharp thorns and do not turn into thorns.
it just defends its Chunhua from being ravaged by wild beasts. "
give birth to edges and sharp thorns, not to hurt others, but to better protect ourselves.
as Yu Hua said:
"when we treat the world fiercely, the world suddenly becomes gentle."
when you become difficult to mess with, the world will be gentle to you.